


Could've Fooled Me

by snowkatze



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Tropes, coffee shop AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-09 06:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12881658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowkatze/pseuds/snowkatze
Summary: Simon goes into the coffee shop, like usual, but for some reason Baz is mad at him.





	Could've Fooled Me

When Simon walks in, Baz glares at him. As soon as Simon tries to find his gaze, he averts his eyes and looks at some point on the counter in front of him. The café is barely crowded. There's a bored looking girl sitting at a table in the corner, but other than that, Simon is the only customer, which means that Baz won't be able to avoid him.  
“Hey,” Simon says once he's at the counter. Baz doesn't look up. He simply furrows his eyebrows and scrubs over some point on the surface. He can see Simon smiling at him from the corner of his eyes. He scrubs harder.

“Hey,” Simon repeats, as if Baz just hadn't heard. Of course he'd heard. He's not a bloody idiot. Simon's smile is fading by now. Good. Shall he never smile again.

“I think that spot is clean by now,” Simon remarks, clearing his throat.

Slowly, Baz lets go of the cloth and lifts his head. Simon's messy hair glows golden in the sunlight shining in from outside. As always, Simon looks perfectly imperfect. Like a really exciting piece of art. There's nothing boring about him. Simon Snow – he's asymmetrical and unlogical. Everything about him is terrible. (Except for the part where everything about him is perfect.)

“Snow,” Baz says eventually in the coldest voice he can muster. “What gives us the honour of receiving you here? What drove the mighty Simon Snow to descend to us plain folks?”  
Simon frowns for a second – Baz is the least plain person he's ever met – but then he realizes that Baz is mocking him.

“Are you having a bad day or something?”  
“I am _now_.”

“Gee, calm down. I'm just here for a scone.”  
“We're out of scones.”  
“They're literally lying right there.”  
Simon points to three scones lying under the display glass.

“I don't see any,” Baz replies and starts scrubbing again.

“But – but they're right there!”  
Now Baz decides to acknowledge the scones. “Oh you mean those right there?”  
“Yeah!”  
“What a shame, I just sold them to myself.”  
“You can't do that!”  
“Yes, I can,” Baz says and picks up one of the scones to bite into. He doesn't particularly like scones, but it's worth the look on Snow's face.

“Hey, are you mad at me or something?”  
“Mad? How'd you get that idea?”  
“You treat me like shit!”  
“I treat everyone like shit.”  
“B-but... I mean... Yeah, you do, but – not me.”  
“Oh what, you think you're special?”  
“I- I don't know, I -”  
“Newsflash – you're not. You're just another person sent here by Satan to ruin my life.”

Now Simon is growing angry.

“Why would Satan do that? After all, he's your best friend.”  
“Wow, Snow. That really hurt me.”  
“What is wrong with you? Is this because I didn't come here the last few days? I was busy.”  
“Well, I'm busy _now_ , so how about you just leave?”  
“You can't treat customers like that!”

The volume grows louder. The girl in the corner gives them an annoyed look, then goes back to reading her book.  
“Oh, so you think you're just a customer?” Baz shouted.  
He hadn't meant to say that.

“You should go,” he added quietly and turned away again.

“Is this really all just because I didn't come here the last four days?”  
“You came here all the days before, since two months ago.”  
“Maybe I didn't feel like eating scones lately.”  
“You always feel like eating scones.”

Simon leans forward over the counter now, and unconsciously, Baz mimics his motion.  
“I suppose you're just too damn clever. You always figure me out.”  
“Anyone could figure you out. You're as easy to read as a children's book in large print.”

“I think you can read me a little better than other people, though,” Simon said and smiled slightly.

“Stop distracting me!”

“I can't help it, I'm just a distracting person.”  
“Oh, you have no idea,” Baz mutters and rubs his temples.

“I'm serious, though. Did I – did I do anything? To upset you?”  
He sheepishly looks away and Baz sighs. It's not even his fault. Well, it kind of is, but it's mostly his own.

He sighs again.

Then he admits defeat.

“I heard you the other day,” he mutters and looks on the counter again.

“What do you mean?”  
“On the phone. With Penny.”  
“You're going to have to be more specific.”  
“About me.”

“Oh.”

Simon stumbles back a few steps. Baz refuses to look at him.

“Baz, I didn't – I mean – I'm sorry if -”  
“'I would _never_ date Baz',” Baz murmurs. “That's what you said.”

“D-did that hurt your pride, or something?”  
“You said you weren't in love with me. You were very insisting on it.”

“So?”  
Baz pauses for a moment. Then he decides that it doesn't matter anyway. He can feel himself blushing. He's very embarrassed about the whole thing.

“Well, you've been coming in here every day for the last two months, and... I just thought...”  
He clears his throat and then mutters something illegible.

“What?”  
He repeats it quietly.  
“I thought you were flirting with me.”  
“W-what?!”  
“Yeah, maybe that seems ridiculous to you, but I thought you were dropping hints, with the... the... You said you found the singer from the bar that always plays in the pub on Saturday nights cute. I thought you were subtly trying to tell me that you liked boys.”

Baz starts talking faster, just to get this over with.

“And I – I'm sorry I didn't get the hint when you declined my offer to take you out on a date, and -”  
“You asked me out on a date?!”  
“I... Yes. When I asked you whether you wanted to go to the concert with me, I intended that to be a date. But you said no, because you had work to do, and I'm just now realizing that you probably just didn't want to go with me.”  
He takes a deep breath.  
“Listen, I'm sorry if I came on too strong. I really thought there was something going on, but... I'm not really good with boys, and... dating. I've never really flirted with someone before, or had a boyfriend, so I just thought... even though you didn't mean... Yeah. You should've just told me you weren't interested, then I wouldn't have harassed you.”

“Wow.”  
“And then you didn't come back here for four days, so... I get the message. And that's why I was so grumpy when you came in.”  
“I've never seen you at a loss of words before.”  
“Well, I've never had to deal with someone so infuriatingly irritating and handsome either.”  
Simon just looks at him with wide eyes.

“Oh, sorry. I'll stop that now.”  
“I don't think you can.”  
“Well, then you should just stop coming.”  
“I tried to stop it once. I failed miserably.”  
“Stop what?”  
“Flirting with you. So instead I stopped coming at all. But it turns out.. I'm not very good at that either.”

“Don't make fun of me,” Baz says and closes his eyes.

“I'm not making fun of you. I was lying to Penny.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I didn't think it was mutual. She was just bugging me, because she said she knew exactly what was going on between us, and it made me angry, because she was right, but also not right at all.”  
“Well...”  
Baz looks up and suddenly starts feeling confident again. So he smirks and says: “I told you I'm not good with boys.”  
Simon laughs a little.

“Apparently we both aren't.”  
“How about we just start over?”  
“Sounds good to me.”  
“Okay then. My name is Baz, and I think you're the most handsome person I've ever seen. And I mean that in a gay way.”  
“Well, I'm Simon, and I'd absolutely love to go on a date with you.”  
“Saturday at eight?”  
“Saturday at eight.”  
  


 


End file.
